My Weirdest Work Experiences

If you count a college summer job (for which I worked on, no joke, a non-porn site called Pork Central), I’ve been working professionally on the web and web-adjacent stuff for 25 years now. ๐Ÿ’€

As you might imagine, I’ve seen some things in my tour of duty, so I thought I’d round up a few of the most surreal highlights:

  • Meeting up with a bigshot in New York only to have him force me to sit in silence while he re-arranged the icons on his desktop for an excruciating amount of time before allowing the conversation to begin.

  • Recording a video interview with the great Michael McKean, only to watch in horror as the camera ate the tape and rendered the whole thing useless (while he was still standing in front of me).

  • Getting on a private jet (my first and only time doing so) with our company co-founders for a last-minute meeting with 50 Cent’s inner circle.

  • Interviewing at a company that I wasn’t fully sold on, but having them end the interview by taking my corporate headshots and including me in their latest team photos. I did not take the job.

  • Watching Richard Branson “fly” a fake jetpack through a Virgin Megastore. See above.

  • Giving a test iOS device to a co-founder’s brother, only to get it back with the camera roll jam-packed with photos of him shirtless.

  • Being summoned to an all-hands in which the CEO (famous for wearing a pink pocket square) announced new corporate branding by dramatically switching to a black pocket square.

  • Waiting for my flight up north to meet with our small-ish company’s CEO, then seeing her on the cover of Fast Company magazine while browsing around at the airport bookstore.

  • Watching Blazing Saddles at a (now) billionaire’s house.

  • Meeting and discussing website concepts with Cindy Crawford.

  • Sneaking onto a reality show set in an attempt to obtain exclusive website footage by awkwardly hiding a camcorder in my jacket sleeve.

  • Following the announcement and launch of the iPad from Punky Brewster’s house.

  • Looking up from my desk to see Jeff Bezos walk by (right around the time that the Lauren Sanchez news broke).

  • Having to watch a group of engineers do a team building exercise that involved writing goals on paper airplanes and throwing them from a balcony.

  • Working with a great guy on our customer advocacy team that left to pursue his dream of becoming a standup comedian. Mission accomplished, Hasan.

Media Diary (February 2023)

Hereโ€™s some stuff Iโ€™ve experienced lately (and not necessarily only new releases):

Star Trek: Picard (TV): So incredible to have the gang back together

Triangle of Sadness (Movie): Unexpected and enjoyable

We Were Three (Podcast): A heartbreaking COVID-era tale

Hello Tomorrow! (TV): Love the concept and the “Diet Glengarry” vibes

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (Movie): It’s getting weak reviews, but I enjoyed it, especially compared to some of the recent Marvel slogs

Cunk on Earth (TV): I could watch this every day

Babylon (Movie): Pretty much a mess, but something you kinda have to see once

Shrinking (TV): Took a few episodes to warm up, but I’m generally into it

She Said (Movie): I’m always a sucker for “reporters in action” films

Stolen Youth: Inside the Cult at Sarah Lawrence (TV): What a wild story

The VelociPastor (Movie): Cannot recommend this enough

Gunther’s Millions (TV): Our dog is a huge fan

Pamela: A Love Story (Movie): Was great to get her side of the story

M3GAN (Movie): Pretty much exactly what I wanted it to be

Want free weekly recommendations? Hop on, friend.

Top Ten Reasons Your Friend Hasn’t Yet Ditched Legacy Social Media For Mastodon

10. It’d be a devastating blow to their essential oils “business”

9. They’re deep into a 4-week LinkedIn course on finding the perfect number of humblebrags to add per post, while ensuring that all federal and state douchebaggery requirements are still met

8. Afraid of being shunned by their peers for not posting ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ on each and every “it’s so hot!” or “it’s so cold!” daily thermometer pic

7. Just two more gender reveal videos until their stamp card is full

6. Gun to their head, they can’t name anything funnier than those Minion memes!

5. God will insta-smite them for missing even one daily “coffee and bible!” pic

4. Every Peloton dashboard screenshot is a unique and delightful snowflake, gotta catch ’em all

3. They’re standing by with ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก as soon as the next person kneels during the national anthem

2. The steal’s not gonna stop itself

1. Paying for account verification is the only way they can reach orgasm

For real though, stop hitting yourself.