This Star Wars Day, I’d like to share the three George Lucas post-theatrical release changes that still consume me with rage.

And yes, I’m aware of the Despecialized Edition (and similar efforts), I’m just screaming into the void on principle. Maybe it’ll be cathartic? 🤷

Anyway, my top three list doesn’t include some of the usual suspects (Greedo shooting first or the unnecessary Jabba scene in A New Hope), and all three of my issues are from Return of The Jedi.

The Death of “Yub Nub”

The closing song (“Yub Nub”) was weird and charming, and the way it built into the main theme as the closing titles hit gave me chills:

I love John Williams as much as the next person, but the move to replace it with this snoozefest still depresses me:

Between the bland track and soulless, franchise-building new “cities celebrating” CGI inserts, this was the Star Wars equivalent of people leaving their blogs for Facebook.

The Inexplicable Hayden Swap

Speaking of the final scene, I still can’t talk about the decision to show Hayden Christensen as Anakin’s Force ghost without punching a wall. Isn’t that idea that you’re seeing the redeemed/wiser version of the character? Or alternately, if the idea is to show the younger/purer version of the character, why show OLD OBI-WAN? OK, I’m getting worked up again.

“Jedi Rocks”: An Assault on All That’s Good in This Fragile World

This ghoulish Jabba’s Palace replacement song a) sucks so, so hard and b) has some of the worst over-the-top CGI that I’ve ever seen, and keep in mind that I’ve lived through The Rock’s head on a scorpion’s body.