Thank U, Next

Inspired by the always-tremendous Things Dave Hates account (and the fact that I’m now an old man with an ever-dwindling tolerance for nonsense), here’s a brief list of things that I’d be fine never dealing with again:

Anti-Vaxxers: Delusional and dangerous (a dynamic duo!)

Second Amendment Fanatics: If you won’t even come to the table to discuss basic gun control reform options given the events of the past several years, you’re not a patriot, you’re a lunatic

‘Single Issue’ Voters: I’m thrilled that you’re privileged enough to focus on a single issue while dismissing the many additional, complex situations affecting others (see: abortion, LGBTQ rights, a stimulus package for your dying industry, etc.)

Mansplainers: If you offer your opinion before being asked, and you’re not in a free-form brainstorming session, it’s time to re-think your life choices (and yes, it’s always men, so feel free to keep that witty retort in your holster)

News and Social Media Shirkers: Taking sanity breaks from time to time makes a ton of sense, but ignoring the world around you is an inherently selfish act (this includes online communities, for men that avoid the Internet entirely lest they encounter an errant boob), and it’s something many don’t have the luxury of doing

Multi-Level Marketers: It’s America, and you should of course feel free to make a buck, but the relentless sales pitches in social feeds is exhausting

Luddites: Avoiding technology (or being “adorably” bad at it) wasn’t cute ten years ago, and it’s especially infuriating in 2019, when your unwillingness to teach yourself new skills increasingly places the burden squarely on others

Hugs all around! ๐Ÿ’€

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Kyle Ford

Husband. Father of several clowns. Product guy.