Back in the before times, I made a short list of “Caffeine-Free Diet Proverbs” that I’d found to be true over the years. Since the past few months have been 30 years long, I thought I’d add some new 2020-fueled additions:
- Your Internet connection speed will never be good enough for your children. 🐢
- It’s not that text chatting is inherently less effective than face-to-face communication, it’s that you’re unwilling to strengthen your writing muscles.
- As the reaction to mandated masks has proven, it turns out that rugged individualists are just assholes. Who knew? 🤷♂️
- You don’t get credit for being the first to discover something good if you later end up ditching it for something bad.
- People that excessively mourn (or rage against) the recent loss of “big moments” in life would be better-served by appreciating average, uneventful days more, or learning to celebrate these milestones in different (maybe better!) ways. We don’t need a dystopian community car parade to mark your kid losing a tooth, gang. 🦷
- Some people would sooner throw themselves into traffic than admit they’ve benefited from any institutional advantages.
- Anyone that doesn’t want to “get political” during a discussion simply isn’t prepared to defend (or confront) their to-date-unchallenged opinions and biases. 💫
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