One of the benefits of rapidly hurtling towards old age is that once in a while you inadvertently learn something. Here are a few things I’ve found to be useful, think of them as Caffeine-Free Diet proverbs:
- When your partner asks you to do a quick task, just shut up and do it immediately.
- Never talk about how busy you are.
- Nothing good can come from a webinar.
- Don’t say someone’s first name when taking with them, it sounds like you’re trying to sell them a timeshare.
- A little Mariachi music goes a long way.
- A man will give birth before the proud will admit to being duped.
- When in doubt, overcommunicate.
- If someone doesn’t drink alcohol, never ask them why.
- Only use hashtags ironically.
- If someone self-describes as being funny, buckle up, as you’re in for a grim experience.
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